Monday, February 16, 2009

This Wedding Belongs To:

Planning a wedding brings out the best in some people, the worst in others.

At times, it seems like everyone has an opinion about some aspect of the planning, and most aren't shy about letting their ideas be known.

In some instances, this type of collaboration is welcome and appreciated:
  • Honest opinions about gowns while dress shopping are a must.
  • Fashionable friends and family who can help the bride select the most flattering hair and make-up styles are important.
  • Ettiquette gurus and careful proofreaders alike should step forward before invitations are finalized and ordered.

Problems arise when someone other than your betrothed becomes wedded to an idea, event or other aspect related to the wedding. True, money matters carry some weight in the wedding planning world. (We've largely been blessed by loved ones who understand the wedding is a celebration of our love -- our one chance to join with family and friends in the manner we deem appropriate -- and should reflect our tastes and preferences accordingly.)

But, with a nose-crinkle here, or a pronounced silence there, others have effectively communicated disagreement with -- at times, it seems, distaste for -- our arrangements. Our wedding is invariably subjected to a bridal benchmark, and, despite all my careful considerations, routinely rated subpar. And as if planning a wedding isn't stressful enough, nuptial nettling escalates tempers and stress levels. How do you politely decline the contributions of a wedding wheedler?

So, I'm left feeling overprotective of something I've spent over 12 months -- nearly two years, by our wedding date -- cultivating. I don't want to hurt any feelings, but at the same time, I'm motivated to act impulsely, in whatever way necessary to guard my own emotions.

And I'm left wondering: Since you can't stamp a bookplate on your wedding, what can you do to clearly demonstrate to others that it is, in fact, yours?

1 comment:

  1. I hear yah! Almost every idea I've (we've) had has received a crinkled nose or silence. Almost to say, "That is weird" or "No-one does that" but I feel the same way - I want to walk away from our wedding knowing it was a reflection of us. So far to decline unwanted contributions I've just thanked the person and said, "I haven't thought of that, I'll consider it," and then I go on doing what we want :)